Taking on the flesh eating turkeys and colon monsters

I got bitten by a turkey two days ago. Minding my own business. Strolling the narrow cobblestone street. Humming a ditty to myself. Meandering around looking for no trouble. I openly admired this turkey and his plumage for a few seconds - who wouldn't? He was rustling and puffing those feathers out in much the same way a more visually medicinal shaman does when they invite the cosmic dance to get crazy. After those few seconds of enraptured ogling however, I decided I had some people to meet and had better get going. And the gobbly little bastard bit me. Lesson learned. In future, if there is a turkey gettin' his swagger on for me, I do not have people to meet or better things to do.

In the turkey's defence, if my eyes were obscured by a dangle of skin resembling a stomped-on scrotum, I would probably mistake someone's fingers for a jumble of grubs too.

Grubs, worms, parasites. My body picked a fight with the wrong Mexican earlier this week and I spent a day throwing up from both ends. I felt like a run-over tube of toothpaste by that night...there was absolutely nothing left to donate to the porcelain God I had been hugging for most of the day. And hopefully now I can make friends with the local bacteria since I've run the gauntlet without pharmaceuticals. I had a moment of clarity after my fourth or fifth heave of bile...food is the primary medicine. We all know this. I still eat for pleasure a lot of the time and the question must be asked; am I drawn towards sugar and foods that form an acidic environment because this is precisely the environment that parasites thrive in? Are parasites and worms overriding my own urges for healthiness? Of course this happens! Anyone who has tried to give up chocolate, cigarettes, alcohol or any other acid-forming substance will know the feeling of having 'something else' behind the steering wheel cranking that hard-turn into the dunkin donuts driveway. If our consciousness is infused with influences from our environment, which we at all times choose (let's take ultimate responsibility for being here and for creating any situation we find ourselves in) then suffice to say that any parasites and worms sharing our immediate bodily environment are getting a few buy-ins. I'm looking at food as primary medicine in this case, since pharmaceutical companies have an overarching agenda where keeping people sick, compliant on their advice and dependent on their drugs makes them more money and I am therefore terrified of even dropping a panadol. What are some excellent foods to kick parasite ass? The local foods Kel, you numpty! Chillies, papaya, garlic, ginger and limes are all officially on a regular rotation through my colon. More on my colon in future posts...

I found out this week that people die having showers over here. Don't touch the shower heads in Latin America, curious Toms. Brian from The Fifth Dimension adjusted a shower head, got electrocuted, and ended up sharing a shower with a fireball smoking away on the tiles near his feet. I can't imagine why when I admire the structural finery that is my current bathroom shower...

Finally I have dragged my arse to school and am learning Spanish one-on-one with Extremely Patient Tutor, Jose. I honestly don't know how he puts up with my verbal butchery for three hours a day. I guess if I keep at it for a couple of months I'll be able to have a conversation without looking like a tool and accidentally saying 'I like your dirty kitchen' or 'you make me hot'. The classroom is a thatch hut in the jungle. Check it.

A sinking fog obscured the mountains on the other side of the lake last night and I pretended I was in The Hobbit (again).

Enough about me...let's talk about San Pedro Guatemala! The local Mayans are incredible people and pretty tolerant of the gringo crowd. Mayan women are total experts at balancing huge loads of tortilla dough and azure shocks of materials on their heads. Men cart around backbreaking loads of firewood, cement and maize on their backs all day tirelessly. The kids are cuter than should be legal and can be seen playing chasey in and out of shopfronts and regularly stop in at the cafe to giggle in the hammock and be cheeky. We have a few Mayan women training up in the kitchen at The Fifth Dimension and they are all lovely and laugh often. Everyone in the kitchen including myself is getting paid 8 Quetzales an hour (about one Australian dollar) and that is a really good wage to receive here. One of the women working in the kitchen mentioned the other night that her husband works a twelve hour shift in a local bakery and receives 40 Quetzales a night. It doesn't sound like a lot but then again you really don't need much to live well here. Kayaking is my new favourite thing to do and it costs me 10 Quetzales to burn around the lake for an hour.

Look at that, I'm back to talking about me. Good opportunity to throw up a picture with my face in it (this one was taken precisely twenty minutes before my 'run over tube of toothpaste' tummy shame spectacular)

I'll try and snap some photos of the locals with their permission in later posts. I feel a bit rude just whipping the camera out on randoms to be honest. Will try and get some streetside shots sweeping over the general populace etc...until then much love :)