I tip my non-existent cowboy hat to my last sunset in the lone star state that is Texas tonight. The land of deep fried everything and rodeos. The land of two-step honky tonk, snake wrangling, oppressive heat and churches. The land of impeccable manners and that famous southern hospitality. It's been an interesting couple of weeks readjusting to the 'western world' lifestyle. Lauren and I drove to Austin for a week and I didn't really know what to do with myself when I wasn't painting or walking around in parks. Cities are designed so that one must consume, and apart from pretzel M&Ms and some banging metal gigs I wasn't really in the consuming mood. If there's one awesome thing to come out of living out of a backpack, it's that you realise you don't need ninety percent of the shit you previously surrounded yourself with. What's that, you got a rip in your pants? Sew 'em up, lazybones. Ok so I looked out of place next to all the business suits in town but everyone wearing a suit when its forty degrees might as well be wearing clown pants. That's how silly that is. Everyone is only doing it because everyone else is doing it. Shoot the breeze...
Before driving to Austin, Lauren and I frequented Billy Bob's honkytonk, the world's biggest honky tonk bar which is so huge there's a rodeo in the middle of it. We showed up too late for the rodeo riding but certainly smelled the bullshit. I ate a bowl of fried pickle slices with ranch sauce, which sounds repulsive but was probably the most delicious thing I've eaten so far here. There were a couple of Texas country bands in the bar rocking out the kind of music I hereby dub 'sad cunt tunes.' There's something about living in a vast expanse of flat hot nothing, working with longhorn bulls and polishing short-range weasel guns that makes people twang them banjoes, all sad and singing about long gone harvests of women and summer. One of the guitarists in the band was even missing a hand and was still strumming away with a creepy hook contraption...gotta keep those sad cunt tunes rolling. I like it. For a little bit anyway. What I liked the most was all the people there wore cowboy hats and boots, and lots of couples danced the two-step. All cowboys rock that two-step right there. I danced with a few chaps and stomped on a lot of toes. Ain't from round here, are ya kid.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaand the day after we simply had to hit Texas' biggest amusement park, ye olde six flags. Squillions of rollercoasters and unwise snack options throughout the day, combined with a boiling temperature left me feeling like a stomped on pink gummi-chew, all squishy in the middle and a bit crusty on the edges. I do love carnivals and sideshows as does my dusty yet trusty travel buddy ol' pal.
The carousel of life. It's just a ride and we can just get off and play on another ride if we don't like it. But I s'pose since we're here we might as well enjoy it right?
That night, Lauren and I lay on the hot tarmac in her hometown of Granbury, and went through Steven Greer's CE-5 protocol for viewing UFOS. We saw three unidentified objects with interesting and erractic flight trajectories, not to mention a spectacular clear sky. While we were chilling on the road a snake crawled in Lauren's hair unbeknownst to her. It was just a little grass snake but obviously a rude shock. It was probably the biggest adrenaline dump of the day, even ranking higher than the world's fastest rollercoaster. Heh. Nature just rules.
Squirrels keep it real in the city, squirreling their way into everything and just being the cutest things in the world. A shame they don't feel the same about me. I want hide in a barrel of acorns so I can watch them squirrel their way through the contents.
The week in Austin was a complete flip-out on the normal schedule of waking early, because who can go to bed when there are so many world class bands playing every night of the week?? I got my fix of metal, blues, funk, rock, more metal, eighties and hip hop without really having to look for it. Amazing stuff. On Friday night sixth street turned into a crazy melting pot of all things weird. Topless women just being topless because they could, an old man riding a bike in nothing but a g-string, homeless kids juggling for dimes, other homeless people talking to beings that had no physicality, street doughnuts that weighed about a kilo each and were not fit for human consumption (but I had to try them anyway...nearly died of heart failure after two bites...still ate the whole thing anyway). And let's not forget the thousands of humans so drunk they forgot why they had started binge-drinking on weekends in the first place. Like to have fun with friends? Awesome. Need to be off the planet to actually enjoy yourself?...you have a problem. Get help with that. But in the meantime you are mildly amusing and I will laugh at you while you dribble and pee on yourself in the street. Remind me again why alcohol is one of the legal drugs?
There was some good healthy weirdness on the famous 'Sixth Street' of Austin too...a drum-off on one busy intersection, where two drummers set up on opposite ends of the street for a drum battle. One dude was rocking the blast beats and tasty double kicking with some interesting time signatures and syncopations and he absolutely owned the show. Lauren and I did a bit of busking near the drummers because we ordered some LED poi and they just arrived and what is more fun than dancing around to phat beats! We made three dollars, don't quit your day job kids. I forgot how awesome live music is, especially metal! Hot dang if that wasn't the hottest thing going in all of Texas, although the metalheads here were very fashionable and sceney on the whole...one of the gigs I went to I distinctly got the impression I wasn't invited. What...can't I wear unicorn flavoured clothes and like metal at the same time? It's amusing when an alternative scene ends up buying into the very system it's attempting to transcend...stop taking it all so seriously nubbins. Sending a shout out to the metalheads of Perth who are the friendliest most down to earth bunch of munters out there! Keep it real. Battle jackets are cool after all. But that doesn't mean you have to be a turd to the rest of the human race who doesn't wear battle jackets. And deep down beneath those generic skull tattoos you secretly want other people to like the same music as you, because people who enjoy similar vibrations probably have something in common.
Now that I think of it the coolest thing in Austin was probably the world's largest colony of bats living in an urban environment, which plumed from underneath the Congress Avenue bridge over the river every evening. 1.5 million bats streaming into the skies making smoke patterns and smelling strongly of snapped crayons is an experience worth repeating nightly. They make sounds like the clicking of crab eyes and no one really knows why the Mexican free-tailed bats choose to crib up under the bridge like that for part of the year before migrating to Mexico. It's suspected that the deep crevices under the bridge are perfect hideouts. I dunno. Having traffic rumble over the bridge all day must surely get annoying. They do consume between 10,000 and 30,000 pounds of insects, and I suppose cribbing over a river like that would provide optimal access to insect snacky times.
Before driving to Austin, Lauren and I frequented Billy Bob's honkytonk, the world's biggest honky tonk bar which is so huge there's a rodeo in the middle of it. We showed up too late for the rodeo riding but certainly smelled the bullshit. I ate a bowl of fried pickle slices with ranch sauce, which sounds repulsive but was probably the most delicious thing I've eaten so far here. There were a couple of Texas country bands in the bar rocking out the kind of music I hereby dub 'sad cunt tunes.' There's something about living in a vast expanse of flat hot nothing, working with longhorn bulls and polishing short-range weasel guns that makes people twang them banjoes, all sad and singing about long gone harvests of women and summer. One of the guitarists in the band was even missing a hand and was still strumming away with a creepy hook contraption...gotta keep those sad cunt tunes rolling. I like it. For a little bit anyway. What I liked the most was all the people there wore cowboy hats and boots, and lots of couples danced the two-step. All cowboys rock that two-step right there. I danced with a few chaps and stomped on a lot of toes. Ain't from round here, are ya kid.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaand the day after we simply had to hit Texas' biggest amusement park, ye olde six flags. Squillions of rollercoasters and unwise snack options throughout the day, combined with a boiling temperature left me feeling like a stomped on pink gummi-chew, all squishy in the middle and a bit crusty on the edges. I do love carnivals and sideshows as does my dusty yet trusty travel buddy ol' pal.
yeah, exactly. Might as well enjoy it. Insert y'alls hootin' and hollerin' here. Into the seting sun.
That night, Lauren and I lay on the hot tarmac in her hometown of Granbury, and went through Steven Greer's CE-5 protocol for viewing UFOS. We saw three unidentified objects with interesting and erractic flight trajectories, not to mention a spectacular clear sky. While we were chilling on the road a snake crawled in Lauren's hair unbeknownst to her. It was just a little grass snake but obviously a rude shock. It was probably the biggest adrenaline dump of the day, even ranking higher than the world's fastest rollercoaster. Heh. Nature just rules.
The squirrels all ran away because they think I'm not one of them. No option but to practice my stealth roly-poly's and amateur parkore moves with the help of a pro (Warren). Imma get you next time, squirrel brethren...
The week in Austin was a complete flip-out on the normal schedule of waking early, because who can go to bed when there are so many world class bands playing every night of the week?? I got my fix of metal, blues, funk, rock, more metal, eighties and hip hop without really having to look for it. Amazing stuff. On Friday night sixth street turned into a crazy melting pot of all things weird. Topless women just being topless because they could, an old man riding a bike in nothing but a g-string, homeless kids juggling for dimes, other homeless people talking to beings that had no physicality, street doughnuts that weighed about a kilo each and were not fit for human consumption (but I had to try them anyway...nearly died of heart failure after two bites...still ate the whole thing anyway). And let's not forget the thousands of humans so drunk they forgot why they had started binge-drinking on weekends in the first place. Like to have fun with friends? Awesome. Need to be off the planet to actually enjoy yourself?...you have a problem. Get help with that. But in the meantime you are mildly amusing and I will laugh at you while you dribble and pee on yourself in the street. Remind me again why alcohol is one of the legal drugs?
There was some good healthy weirdness on the famous 'Sixth Street' of Austin too...a drum-off on one busy intersection, where two drummers set up on opposite ends of the street for a drum battle. One dude was rocking the blast beats and tasty double kicking with some interesting time signatures and syncopations and he absolutely owned the show. Lauren and I did a bit of busking near the drummers because we ordered some LED poi and they just arrived and what is more fun than dancing around to phat beats! We made three dollars, don't quit your day job kids. I forgot how awesome live music is, especially metal! Hot dang if that wasn't the hottest thing going in all of Texas, although the metalheads here were very fashionable and sceney on the whole...one of the gigs I went to I distinctly got the impression I wasn't invited. What...can't I wear unicorn flavoured clothes and like metal at the same time? It's amusing when an alternative scene ends up buying into the very system it's attempting to transcend...stop taking it all so seriously nubbins. Sending a shout out to the metalheads of Perth who are the friendliest most down to earth bunch of munters out there! Keep it real. Battle jackets are cool after all. But that doesn't mean you have to be a turd to the rest of the human race who doesn't wear battle jackets. And deep down beneath those generic skull tattoos you secretly want other people to like the same music as you, because people who enjoy similar vibrations probably have something in common.
Now that I think of it the coolest thing in Austin was probably the world's largest colony of bats living in an urban environment, which plumed from underneath the Congress Avenue bridge over the river every evening. 1.5 million bats streaming into the skies making smoke patterns and smelling strongly of snapped crayons is an experience worth repeating nightly. They make sounds like the clicking of crab eyes and no one really knows why the Mexican free-tailed bats choose to crib up under the bridge like that for part of the year before migrating to Mexico. It's suspected that the deep crevices under the bridge are perfect hideouts. I dunno. Having traffic rumble over the bridge all day must surely get annoying. They do consume between 10,000 and 30,000 pounds of insects, and I suppose cribbing over a river like that would provide optimal access to insect snacky times.
The staircase piece I did at the Firehouse Hostel in Austin was inspired by the bat-things anyway. Love those bats.
Chato's guitar was the last piece I finished before leaving Guatemala.
So tomorrow Lauren and I are hooning in her Dodge Avenger to North Carolina. Possibly stopping in Nashville for some country tunes, or maybe Georgia. Either way we're heading north to go stay with a good friend who's offered us cheap rent and good company. And for now I'm not looking much further than the waking reality in front of me. Otherwise I'd spend a lot of energy getting all worked up about Australia's new prime minister or about the way the media is hyping the situation in Syria to obscure what is really going on. I watched an hour of television coverage on Syria at Lauren's Grandad's house yesterday and none of it was actual information, but rather a dramatic arguing over the opinions of 'important' people who have all been told one story. In other words, an hour of my life wasted and no wiser. There's certainly something fishy about the way the media only highlights certain things at certain times, don't you think? Because those things that are happening in Syria right now are happening in a lot of places all over the world. Governments in western countries and their associated media conglomerates only give a shit about these things when there's something to gain from showing the public. I'm curious about what that might be.
Getting angry and upset and ruminating on these world events certainly doesn't contribute to an actual solution. And it's not a solution to fight, ever. Stomping out the life force of a perceived 'enemy' only makes you become the very thing that you tried to put an end to. It's so retarded that a three year old could figure out that kind of logic.
Let's all bake each other cookies and make some good music and art and dance around? No, that would be too much fun and we'd all look too much like little kids.
Fuck it. That's what I'm going to do anyway. The best way to fuck the system? Bake some cookies right now and just give them to someone. Why? Because it feels good for you and the person you give them to and because feelings are contagious. Good feelings and bad feelings are contagious. Subject yourself to a lot of negative media and you'll start feeling pretty negative yourself. Bake cookies and dance in the sun and laugh loudly because everything is funny? Maybe a few people around you will start feeling silly and childish too and who knows what would happen if everyone in the world all laughed at once?
Maybe one of these days I'll bake some cookies for Obama and Tony Abbott and all those other suited weirdos taking the world so seriously. They might as well be wearing clown pants...
